I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
