I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
