Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize