The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
