Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I love you. Go after that dick
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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