i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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