i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
