Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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