I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
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I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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