We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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