im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
