you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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