You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
