i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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