I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
