I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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