Is it because I queefed?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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