I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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