We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
