I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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