I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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