My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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