i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
