so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Randomize
