You really coming over, don't trick.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS