remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?