There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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