I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
