He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
