Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize