too bad you live with your parents still
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
