I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize