Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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