Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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