Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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