I wish i was in the wii world.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
