It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
