i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize