i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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