can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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