Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
