how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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