drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
