Girls should come with a carfax report
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
