Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
