Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
