do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I smell like Dick and happiness
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