Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
im on a boat
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