Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
