Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
