Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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