You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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