Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
