Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
