Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
