i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
