i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize