It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize