Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
