Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
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I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
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Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize